Winning Your Ex Back: Advice from Oprah’s “Love Guru”

Posted on July 12, 2010

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If you watch the “Oprah” Show on television screens daily, you’ve most likely heard of Michael Webb. He serves as the show’s “love expert.” He has offered tons of relationship advice for both men and women.

As the author of the two hugely popular books, “The Romantic’s Guide” and “101 Romantic Ideas,” Webb is well-versed in the challenges of the sexes when it comes to successful relationships. He says specifically about winning your ex back that you need to come up with a strategic plan based on S.W.O.T., or the acronym for Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats. SWOT is a common strategy used by Fortune 100 companies particularly when they face dire circumstances in their businesses.

First thing you need to do is identify your strengths. No problem you say, right. Nope. The plain and simple fact is that she left you so you were not as strong in the “strengths” department as you would have liked. So do a little deep breathing, sit down and be painfully honest about the real qualities that make you strong. You’re interested in winning your ex back, right?

During this process, you’ll be able to figure out your weaknesses as well. Obviously, the lack of any particular strength should be viewed as one of your weaknesses. For example:

· Lack of communication or not listening

· Spending too much time with your guy friends

· Watching a ton of TV

· Failure to appreciate all she does for the two of you

· Failure to help out around the house

· Lack of affection (hugs, touches)

The good news is that once you’ve completed the “S” and “W” of SWOT, you can really use your weaknesses to improve your strengths. And if you really don’t believe you have any weaknesses, simply call up some of her close women friends. Chances are good they’ll rattle off a half-dozen of your “flaws” right off the bat.

If there is some unfulfilled need of your ex, identify the opportunity or “O”. Then make the most of it. For example, maybe she wants a cat. Pay a visit to your local Humane Society and pick one out. That way you are really doing two wonderful things – supporting charity and scoring a big brownie point with her which could lead to winning your ex back! Whatever the case, you will find many opportunities to fill that need in her. You simply need to identify one.

Threats or “T” could be a slap in the face. Maybe it is extreme rejection. Or it could be the fact she has already moved on and just does not love you anymore. So you need to identify these threats and make sure that you have a plan to eliminate them and ensure that she comes back to where she belongs, in your arms, in your bed and in your life!

Sure you could say that this SWOT idea is pretty cold and calculating especially when it comes to winning your ex back. But if it works for America’s best blue chip companies, why wouldn’t you use it to bring back the most important person in your life.

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